rebllion demi cinta~? [1]

"Hidup ni mmg tak adil! Yang susah hidup lagi susah yang senang melampau senang pulak!" aku merungut seorang diri.

"Alah nak buat macamna kan dah rezeki orang, nak hidup senang kita redha jela.." sahabat karibku Fiqa memujukku..

Bukan begini sifatku suka meungut tetapi kalau asyik susah jer, asyik jatuh je siapa tak bengang.

"Tapi fiq!..." balasku dipotong.

"Takde tapi-tapi,sabar jelah! Hidup ada naik turun dia jadi terimalah dengan hati yang terbuka." pujuk kawanku.

"yelah sangat, asyik turun je dari dulu.. Haishh.." gumamku menunjukan tanda marahku.

"hmm.." Fiqa hanya mampu mengeluh dengan sahabatnya yang entah bila masa je boleh meradang kalau diganggu.

****

"Cik Iza, kenapa kamu ni suka sangat menangguh-nangguhkan projek kerja kamu tu?" bising professor Idris dengan sikapku.

"tapi bukan.."

"takde tapi-tapi saya nak awak hantar kerja awak esok! Paham!" dengan itu Prof idris membawa diri keluar dari dewan kuliah setelah memalukanku di khalayak ramai.

"Hahaha.. Dapat surat cinta ke Iza?" Ejek Taufiq.

"Lantak ah apa kau sibuk!" aku menjelir lidah terhadap Taufiq sebelum membawa diri melayan perasaan.

'Bukannya aku saja nak lambat hantar dah aku tak de masa! Dah la kena kerja nak sara adik beradik aku. Sekolah dorang lagi, bukannya aku suka suki. Apa dia ingat aku suka hati jer datang kuliah nak abiskan duit aku? Baik aku abiskan kat adik-adik aku lagi ada faedahnyer!' aku merungut seorang diri dalam hati.

'Dah tu ada ke patut marah aku depan semua orang, ingat orang tak de maruahke? Cipanzi tul!' aku protes dalam hatiku.

********

"Weh Iza tunggu! Apasal ko cam halilintar ni cepat nak mampos!" jerit Fiqa dari jauh, jauh la sangat.

"Takde pape ah.. Asal?" riak muka aku langsung tak berubah bengang je.

'Ceh, tak leh kontrol lngsung emo.'

"Relaks lah jangan marah-marah. Ko boleh pinjam aku punya, Taufiq gitau aku la fyi.." Fiqa tersengih-sengih dekat depan aku.

'Aish mamat ni, suka sangat cerita kat orang aku kena marah, siot tul!' perasaan aku jadi tegang.

"Yelah buah hati ko tu memang penyayang orangnya nak buat macamna kan!" aku senyum sinis.

**********

'I wanna heel, i wanna feel like I'm worth something real!' handset aku berbunyi.

"Hello, Assalamualaikum. Siapa ni?"

"Waalaikumsalam... Iza... Taufiq ni."

"Hmm.. Taufiq apa ko nak?"

"Iza marahkan Taufiq ke? Taufiq minta maaf.."

"Marah mendernyer. Takdelah biasa jer."

"Iza sayang..."

"Eh apa benda bisik2 ni lemas lah!"

"Sayang...."

"APA DIA SAYANG OII?!!! Sayang2 ingat orang ni bayang2 ke hapa!?"

"Suka lah.. Iza ni comel fiq suka!"

"suka menyakat memang nama Taufiq pon kan?!"

"Eh ye ke? Bukan nama fiq Taufiq ke?"

'Ah sudah nak menggedik pulak mamat ni.'

"Ok.. Whatever la, apa Taufiq nak?"

"Nak Iza.."

"Ish, sapa yang bagi nombor Iza kat Taufiq hah?"

"Adalah, rahsia, Kenapa tak suka ke?"

"Taklah, biasa je.. Okaylah Taufiq Iza busy chat later kay. Bye."

"Assalamualaikum."

"Waalaikumsalam."

'Ah gediknyer mamat ni!!!!!!!!' gumamku dalam hati.

********

"Iza! Aku dah lama tak nampak Taufiq la.. Rindunyerrr~!" ngadu Fiqa padaku.

"Manalah aku tau, ko kan ada nombor phone dye call lah dye!" kening kananku menjngkit scara automatik.

"Manalah aku ada!"Fiqa menarik muka masam.

"Aik?! Asal ko takde nombor dye plak?" aku mengangkat kening kananku tanda pelik.

"Dye tukar nombor lah." Fiqa menyembamkan mukanya ke meja.

'Macam orang frust cinta je minah ni.' hati kecilki mendengus.

"'I wanna heel, i wanna feel like I'm worth something real!'"

'Ah, mamat ni lagi. Apa Taufiq ni nak? Aish!!!! Menyampah menyampah menyampah!!!!!'

"Yobeoseyo~"

"Huh? Apa ko cakap nie?" secara automatik aku menggaru kepala belakang ku yang sah memang tak gatal pun. Sungguh!

"Sayang.. Fiq rindu kat sayanglah.. Sayang tak rindu kat fiq ke?"

"Rindu apanyer.. Setiap hari boleh jumpa kat kuliah apa.."

"Oh..."

"Kenapa?"

"Dah seminggu Fiq tak masuk kuliah. Fiq terlibat dalam accident hari tu."

"Apa?! Jangan main2 wei!"

"Betulah, kenapa nak tipu pulak?"

"...."

"hmm.." Fiq mendengus kasar.

"I'm so sorry. Saya tak tau pun.." rasa bersalah merayap ke dalam hati kecilku.

"Atuk.. marah ke?" aku cuba memujuknya dengan memerlinya dalam masa yang sama.

"Taklah atuk tak marah pon kat nenek." suara Taufiq kedengaran seperti ingin menahan rawa kecilnya.

'Manja jugak mamat ni, patutlah Fiqa suka kat dye."

"Awak ada orang rindu kat awak!" aku mengatakan dengan hati yang riang.

"Siapa?" soalnya kebingungan.

"Weh, nah!" aku menghulurkan handphone ku kepada Fiqa.

'Terpinga- pinga mak cik ni dibuat ku. Hahaha..'

"He~Hello.." Fiqa menjawab.

'La gagap la pulak!'..


bersambung lain hari yek! Hehe.. Teme dah kebosanan! Chau!

d0es a new year means a new beginning??

Okay so what if this year is 2009? its still the same to me..
Come on la, its totally the same just different in number and in ages..
Wonder why i sound so low??

Haha.. Seriously, life isn't fair to me..
I just keep running myself into trouble wherever i go and whenever I go..
Its sounds depressing, yea i know but still its the truth.
Its been ages since I wrote or drew something.
Its my hobbies which is sailing in the midst of numbness, currently.

Since I start working I neglect almost everything, from my family, friends and even myself.
You know once someone told me I'm a women in a girls body, guess what its the truth.
I'm really am more matured than i looked like.
For someone who just graduated I have to literally thinking about money crisis since i was, er.. let me think 12.. oh yea, standard six..
what am i huh? can't i just enjoy life??

hmm.. what to do, in my book of life, life is full of ups and downs..
duh~ I wake early in the darkness aka 5.45 and reach the bus station around 6.30++ in the morning and literally becoming a sardine everyday and amazingly still reaching late to work and guess what reaching my home sweet home at 8.30++
Wtf! Sometimes works makes me feel depressed coz I have to quit basketball and outing with my friends but somehow sometimes its kinda enjoying.

You know, I love the feeling being too occupied in working something and have no time to think of anything..
It takes my mind off my problem.
I always bumps myself into problem, seriously though i try very hard to avoid them.
Ergh~!
Am I a troublemaker?? I wonder.....

And in love i'm totally hopeless.
Why in the world does my friend have to like the same person as I do.
Come on la, open your freaking eye and see that there are sooooooo many other bachelor for you to hit on.
Everything in life is so unfair!!!

When can my life turn out lucky and problem-less again?? i wonder..

Uh, forgot to tell you, gosh~ Why does Junsu and Micky Yoochun looks so hot and Yunho looks so sexy.. I mean they are the 'hot' goddess. Hahaha.. Sounds overly exposed, I know.
Hmmm.. Just thinking bout them makes me feel so happy, crazy? I understand.. Hahaha..


By the way I seriously hope that I could forget about that certain someone and everything about that someone. Its been 7 dreadful years of treacherous emotional pressure. I hope I can let go of him. The sooner the better though many reminds me of him. Aish, what a bad luck.. Anyway, I'm still happy though because they are my source of happiness and smile.. Hahaha.. emo~ yea, right!


Anyway, au revior~ My new blog for 2009! *wink2*